Zoolander 2

Cameo-tastic. Disappointing. Perplexing.

Explanations below:

Cameo-tastic: I know I know, this is not a real word. Still I was struggling to think of a word that would really showcase one horribly apparent aspect of Zoolander 2. Every other scene some celebrity is thrown in, either as a brand new character or as themselves. At first this is a pretty amusing trait, but after an hour of cameo's it becomes a boring shtick. That's not to say all of the cameo's are poorly done. There are quite a few that really aroused a grin from me, but there in lies Zoolander 2's real issue...

Disappointing: Zoolander 2 isn't a bad comedy. It's got a decent pace, never takes itself seriously, and faithfully recreates older versions of the first movies characters. That being said I feel like the writers either wrote a script that was far too "meta" or I'm overthinking a dumb comedy. I found myself a half-hour in, wondering if this movie was a statement more on how ridiculous the current hipster trend is. I mean so many of the jokes seemed to not only bring about a sly grin (but not a laugh, it really just wasn't THAT funny), but to also bring me a bit of depression at the current state of affairs current popular society is in. The old movie was an amusing comedy poking fun at an industry that didn't seem to grasp how ridiculous it was. This sequel is just a depressing realization that it's likely only going to get worse.

Perplexing: I liked Zoolander 2. I found it amusing, and a short diversion. Somehow though, I can't recommend it. I think it's got a really potent underlying view on the current fashion trends and popular social fads. Still it's a sequel to a comedy that was ultimately a good time, and so now even if Zoolander 2 is trying to have an underlying theme it just feels out of place. There's an enjoyable time waster of a movie here, but I just feel like it really lets it's predecessor down.

The Revenant

Visceral. Artistic. Horrible. 

Explanations below: 

Visceral: Holy crap, this movie is a few steps short of being straight up gore porn. From the heart pounding survival nightmare scenarios, to the brutally realistic fights, The Revenant really sells the violent reality of the 1800's. It starts off brutal, and only continues ramping it up until it culminates with a spectacularly shot (and seemingly realistic) fight that leaves you feeling absolutely exhausted. 

Artistic: Sure we're in an age of "trendy" art flicks. A time when every random Joe wants to show a a close up of someone's face for 15 minutes and claim it's art. Luckily every so often one of those people trying to get cute with movies really pulls off something exquisite. The Revenant features some breathtaking landscape shots, along with an amazing score to really pull some strong feelings out. I know there were moments where some beautiful shots lingered a hair too long (To the point I really took note of the pause), but overall this was a brilliant way to let the audience a chance to catch their breath after some particularly heavy or intense events. This of course isn't even touching on the beautiful details, and great choice of shots employed. The Revenant is a good example that not every art flick needs to be slow paced or dull. 

Horrible: It's been a long while since a movie evoked feelings such as agony and despair. A scene late in the movie in particular really sold a point the film tries to suggest early: This isn't a fantasy version of the American Frontier. I know horrible is a word with negative connotations, but here it just fits. Tom Hardy's John Fitzgerald is a horrible, horrible creation. How well Hardy brings this character to life is just amazing. I know he probably won't get enough credit, but for as good as Leonardo DiCaprio is, Hardy made me legitimately hate Fitzgerald. This movie will invoke some horrible feelings in most, and it's all the better because of it.